stress!!!

i went college took my result yesterday...the result not bad...but i still worry about my other exam and scared i cant go nat...can i dun want exam and go for the compertition??i dun want study liaw...i dun like...i want to go work...

now not only my study stress...training also stress now...stupid la...not enough time...i still cant get my water feeling yet...when i can get it back?when can i swim like before sukma?i want win someone then only i can join the game i target to go...yesterday i cant swim well...i swam half way i started cant breath...i try to control my breathing...it getting better but the last program i cant swim...the program was so easy and i cant follow...i hate myself why i cant tahan...if i tahan that day than i will get my feeling faster...seriously,i cried that day after training...luckily someone made me happy...i dun want coach know i cried...sure she will scold me one...

i target myself...i give myself until msss...i must get back my water feeling...of cause not the feeling before sukma...i knew this very diffecult...i can follow the program then can liaw...then after that only target more...coach ask me to relax but i dun think i can...i try la...'during nat i will get the target you want me to hit' (if i can go)...if not then malaysia open la...just one month after nat...

yesterday was valentine's day...i wish everyone happy valentine...of cause the most important person also...i dunno your valentine happy or not...for me is suck...cause you are not with me...anything la...i already biasa myself...you are just my dream...my dream will never be come true...

anyway,training tomorrow...sleep liaw...
nitenite...
miss you K...